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🎅 $25 Off + No Sales Tax. Christmas Delivery Available!
🎅 $25 Off + No Sales Tax

Grumpy Old Man Gum

by Blue Q
Sold Out
Original price $2.29 - Original price $2.29
Original price
$2.29
$2.29 - $2.29
Current price $2.29
Availability:
Out Of Stock

Small Business

Thank you for supporting a small business! Perpetual Kid is celebrating our 20th anniversary!

For crotchety gentleman, young and old

Cool down that hot-tempered, complaint-filled mouth with our minty Grumpy Old Man Gum! The fun checker board design reminds us that the distance been checkered Vans to Viagra is shorter than you think fellas. In the blink of a commercial break disco nap... you morph from the noisy neighbor, to the nosey neighbor. Turn that music down! Get off my yard!

You don't need to be of boomer status to be considered a grumpy old man anymore. TBH, some of the grumpiest old men we've met are in their 20's. You know it's true. Back of gum box spews some grumpy statements:

  1. When I was a kid, I got gum once a year. For my birthday. If I was lucky.
  2. This gum is too minty.
  3. 8 pieces? Back in the day, gum came with 9 pieces.
  4. Mint? An old man can't enjoy some nice bubble gum anymore?
  5. No one appreciates a good piece of gum anymore.
  6. People younger than me are stupid.
  7. This gum was overpriced.
  8. 8 pieces? Gee, hope I don't spoil my dinner.
  9. Somebody find this gum in the trash or what?
  10. They don't even want you to chew gum anymore. Say it stresses your jaw or something. Please.
  11. No one listens to me.

A fun + tasty prank gift to call out the giant ray of sunshine in your life. Birthday, anniversary, valentine's day, or just a humorously passive aggressive hint.

Made in Canada. 8 pieces of candy-coated, mint-flavored gum in each box. Mint: Sugar, Dextrose, Gum Base, Corn Syrup, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Tapioca Dextrin, Glycerine, Gum Arabic, Aspartame, Acesulfame Potassium, Titanium Dioxide, Confectioners Glaze, Carnauba Wax, Corn Starch, BHT (to maintain freshness). Each dainty pack of gum measures 2.75 inches long x 1.25 inches tall. We can't promise that our Grumpy Old Man Gum will not stick to your dentures.