Offensive + Delightful

You are f'ing amazing! Not everyone deserves to be gifted with our You are Strong, Fearless + Badass... In Other Words... I'm So F*cking Proud Of Y...

It's an outstanding quality you possess! I know I've told you hundreds of times what I love about you, but this one may have slipped by... Made i...

Divine birthday wishes from upper management! Even Jesus is excited when you send the OMG! It's Your Birthday Card to your friends! What a surprise...

Welcome to the beginning of the end Send our Wow You're Pretty Fucking Old Birthday Card to laugh and celebrate another year of aging! This works g...

Hammy be hamming it up Ham-stirring the pot, like only a chubby hamster can, our You're the Shit Card Compliment + Thank You Card, delivers a hot s...

Shut the door and have some me time! Seriously. Relax! After All You're The Fucking Birthday Girl! You probably haven't had time to pee without i...

Is that damn Mercury in retograde again? Birthday Greetings, May These Crystal Heal The Shit Out Of You! A few rose quartz, a good helping of turqu...

Times are tough... but dang, this is some good weed! Happy to take the edge off this last trip around the sun, our Rough Year! Just Grateful Weed i...

Holy shit, I can feel it! Send our May These Crystals Heal The Shit Out Of You Greeting Card to any friend who isn't feeling well or needs some pos...

Happy birthday, you magnificent son of a bunny! Our Happy Fucking Birthday Bunny may look innocent, but this furball has a mouth as dirty as a pigs...

For shits and baby giggles Because parenthood is a real gas (with lots of wiping ass), our cheeky Poop Machine New Baby Card is just what the stor...

You're an ass, but in a good way! Our Happy Birthday To A Badass Mother Fucker Card is absolutely not appropriate for your grandma... Even if she i...

Happy Birthday! You look amazing... So if you could just let me know your secret, or your plastic surgeon's business card that would be great! You ...

Thick as thieves The fun and crafty How Fucking Lucky Are We Greeting Card is the perfect card recognizing a special relationship. Old friends, new...

Rawr! 💥🐈‍⬛📋 Nothing will stand between a cat and its prey, so continue to slay the day, kitties! And while you're at it, pounce on the chance to se...

Thanks a buttload! No ifs, ands, or butts about it, our You Deserve A Big Ass Thank You! Greeting Card gets your point across. It’s right in their ...

Get me my glasses and an ibuprofen... I'm Telling You Kid, Growing Old Ain't For Sissies... Getting older is actually pretty cool with all of the l...

I'm actually feeling much better This delightful and macabre Good News, You're Not Dead Yet Birthday Card is reminding us to always look at the bri...

Send them rolling over the hill in laughter (just careful they don't break a hip!) While they may be accustomed to Next-Day Pony Express, our farm-...

Yes! High Fives! Brighten someone's day with the High Fives Card. It could be a thank you, get better or just a fun how are you message. Never doub...

The definition of harm can be a little forgiving... Nope, not gonna take bullshit from anyone standing in my way! Our Do No Harm But Take No Shit...

I many even go for seconds... Our You Can Have Your Cake And Eat It Too!!! After All It's Your Fucking Birthday Card perfectly defines that strong ...

It's just that they scare me... You're going to be a great parent, and that's cool... I Hate Babies, But I'm Still Pretty Happy For You! Since you...

Don't be a party pooper! Send our rascally Retro Happy Birthday You Little Shit Birthday Card to your friends and family, and you're guaranteed to ...